"So someone complimented you or your business on Twitter? Great! I’m pleased for you, I really am. But RT’ing the compliment? You might as well stand in my garden and masturbate onto a photo of yourself. I’m sure it gets you off, but I don’t need to see it."

Not safe for work: I’m like Moses, but for Twitter - Paul Carr lays down his 10 Commandments | Technology | guardian.co.uk